(A huge Roman amphitheatre, sparsely attended. REG, FRANCIS, STAN and JUDITH, the People's Front of Judia inteligentia, are seated in the stands. They speak conspiratorially.)Judith: I do feel Reg, that any anti-imperialistic group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interest within its powerbase.
Reg: Agreed. Rogers?
Rogers: Yes, I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the movement never forgets that it is the unalienable right of every man...
Stan: Or woman.
Rogers: ...or woman to rid himself...
Stan: Or herself.
Rogers: ...or herself...
Reg: Agreed.
Rogers: Thank you, brother.
Stan: Or sister.
Rogers: Or sister...where was I?
Reg: I think you'd finished.
Rogers: Oh. Right.
Reg: Further more, it it the birthright of every man...
Stan: Or woman.
Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan? You're putting us off.
Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
Rogers: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
Stan: (pause) I want to be one.
(pregnant pause)
Reg: What?
Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta.
Reg: What?
Loretta: It's my right as a man.
Judith: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
Loretta: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!?!?!?!?!
Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But...you can't have babies!
Loretta: Don't you opress me!
Reg: I'm not opressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb. Where is the foetus going to gestate? You're going to keep it in a box?
(Stan starts crying)
Loretta: Sniff.
Judith: Here, I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
Rogers: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister! Sorry.
Reg: What's the point?
Rogers: What?
Reg: (pissed)
What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Rogers: It is symbolic of our struggle against opression.
Reg: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.
Monty Python's The Life of Brian